Fledgling/Polyamory

While at first I was shocked by the overt sexual nature of the book, that's not what overall captured my attention. Fledgling speaks volumes about polyamory. Yes, there are many other important aspects of the book, such as what it says about race and matriarchy, but for me the polyamorous relationships throughout the book caught me off guard.

I guess I should explain polyamory before I go on any future. Polyamory is defined as, "...the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved." According to Wikipedia, there are several factors that occur in a polyamorous relationship. These factors are: fidelity, loyalty, trust, honesty, dignity, respect, mutual support, communication, negotiation, and non-possessiveness. Although one factor is non-possessiveness, Wikipedia goes on to say,

"Polyamorists believe that restrictions on other deep relationships are not for the best, as they tend to replace trust with a framework of ownership and control. They tend to see their partner's partners in terms of the gain to their partner's life rather than the threat to their own. Poly relationships do vary and some can be possessive or provide for the primary partner's veto or approval, whilst others are asymmetrical—possessive one way, but not the other."

With that being said, the relationship between Shori and her symbionts can be see sharing all of these factors.

A while ago I was watching MTV: True Life. The episode was about people who are involved in polyamorous relationships. At first, I was very intrigued. I had never heard of such a thing. I watched the entire episode trying to understand how a relationship of three or more people could work. I kept trying to relate it back to myself. There is no way I could do a polyamorous relationship. I would just be way too jealous. However, Fledgling's take on the issue has changed the way I view polyamorous relationships.

The love/sexuality between Shori, Joel, Wright, Theodora, Cecila, and Brooke is very prominent, and although at times Wright is jealous, overall the combination of symbionts and Shori works out. However, I felt though at times the distinction between love and sex was blurred. Several times in the book, Shori seems to be confused by "love." There's one part where Wright even says something like, "Well, is this how you're showing affection?" While the group dynamic of the relationships works well, love is not communicated verbally but rather thought sexual acts. Thus, it's fair to say that love can be substituted for sex and vice-versa in Fledgling.

The book offers an alternative look on how relationships work. Other than the Silks being racist and bigoted, the community of Ina's is very progressive. The people are portrayed as being happy and giving. Ina's care deeply for their symbionts and are physicality, as well as emotionally, pained if they were to die. The community is also very loving/sexual. It's typical for an Ina to have several symbionts that they are sexually active with, along with other Ina's they can reproduce with. The Ina's, in a sense, create their own world among themselves that behaves civilly for the majority of this time. The Ina's community represents the idea that with an openness to love/sexuality and race, it's possible to live a peaceful, fulfilling life.

While I still don't think I'd be able to do a polyamorous relationship, I do appreciate the message it sends. It's not about just sleeping with everyone. Polyamory is about accepting and loving. I think the messages in Fledgling are messages that everyone at some point in their life needs to hear. Although I know that everyone is not always going to agree, and that conflict is going to inevitably arise, it would be wonderful if we could all live in a world that was a little more open, loving, and peaceful like the Ina's world.